If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that the trials that I’ve gone through would be used for the benefit of someone else and sometimes, not even about me - I’d probably have 100,000$. But if a dollar was taken from me, every time I received those words with even .2% frustration cause I felt like that wasn’t fair? I’d probably be broke. Sometimes, hearing that this pain wasn't about me didn’t comfort me and sometimes, it made me feel worse. Until moments like these happen and I feel rich all over again. Because I’m reminded that someone needs my story, even the weirdest parts.
While working as a customer service agent for FabFitFun a few years ago, I learned a valuable lesson about self-acceptance. Maybe I was lied to, because this wasn't in the job description or maybe it's the truth, here to set me free. I was just doing my job, answering phones. Now "must be able to answer phones without an attitude," was on the job description but “must be able to handle memories of being teased during your childhood caused by friends, one bully and a few family members because the customers ALSO think you sound like a man over the phone” was not ...but that’s what happened, that’s what I got. #FML #WTF
So taking matters into my own hands, I asked my boss to record my voicemail for me.... that was all I could do. I was tired of hearing people talk about my voice and thought someone’s voice was better than mine. I didn’t realize the kind of message I was sending to myself and it really hit me about three days ago.
My beautiful little cousin was sitting in front of me, recording her voicemail. I was on my phone and wasn’t paying attention until she looked at me and said “can you say, Daijah?” I looked up and she was handing her phone to me. I laughed at and immediately began to think about me and the time I asked my boss to record my voicemail for me, which my boss did but me, I told my little cousin, no. I told her about my story and explained that her that her voice was good enough, perfect and unique to her - which made it special. She should love it and use it!
I asked her to say her name for me and after she said it I repeated it to her in a low tone that made me sound like a monster. “Yeah, yours sound way better than mines. I love the way you say your name. It’s perfect. You should say it. Besides, it’s YOUR voice.” #loveyourselflilmama
Never would I have thought in a million years that my old insecurities would be used in my face to encourage someone out of their own, like literally the same exact thing. My cousin a boss tho, she recorded her voicemail, right after I told her my story and I watched her do it.
I guess I’m here to tell you what they told me... it’s not all about you and yes what you go through is often times for someone else, but that’s the beauty of it. You never know who you will inspire or how. But it’s got to be good to know that your downs will lift someone else’s spirit Vertical. Keep your spirit lifted, out there. Stay encouraged.
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Feeling Lifted & Vertical,
Jhoe.
