By Jason A. Benefield
What if I told you that there is nothing wrong with you? What if I told you that everything that has happened to you was in the plan? That they are learning moments, pathways for healing and a pathway to develop the leader within you. What if I told you that you were chosen and called to become something greater beyond your wildest imagination, and you should answer the call? You're right, you wouldn’t believe me, and I didn’t believe it at first myself. Yet, when I look back at everything that has happened in my life and that has led me to where I am now, I would have never picked this path for myself. I do mean NEVER! I’m glad that I did, because what has happened to me, has now opened myself to become more Aware of my True Self and what I can create and accomplish with my life.
I remember as a child waking up multiple times on the floor in my home or in a chair in a room, and I didn’t know how I got there. I remember being punished verbally, physically and spiritually, by my mother and father, who I believed was supposed to protect, nurture, and empower me and by people that weren’t compassionate to what I was going through. So, my reaction to everyone and everything was in form of outbursts. Some of my family and female relationships were ruined. I engaged in rash and impulsive decision making, thinking that was a way to get compassion, kindness and acceptance fighting to be heard and understood, but the bottom line is that I wanted to be LOVED and respected for who I really am, not the unhealed pain that I carried from what I encountered as a child and not get any help to properly understand what was happening to me.
All this time I wanted the Love that I believed I lost from my abused relationship with my parents. I wanted to be loved for who I thought I was, for who I am - my focus wasn’t own the truth of who I really was, but on the ideas that had been beaten and edged into my soul by people that couldn’t see past my issues and projected their reaction as now the type of person that they want to see me as and how to treat me from that moment on. I heard it so much that I believed it and began to live from that false state of being, which then caused me to become unaware of what was going on around me and led me into so many unhealthy conditions.
What was happening was being expressed from the trauma and not living my true self. My True Self was calling to be expressed through the pain to be recognized, acknowledged and transformed to truth, love, joy, peace, harmony etc. Once the pain of the past was getting the attention it needs to, in order to address what needs to be healed, then it makes itself available to be released, so that my Soul can only be shown as True Essence within - THAT then can be known, experienced, and expressed as the True me. This is not about being the victim or the victor, but to becoming the Awarer, seeking to be reconnected as the True Self.
Of course, I now understand that my parents did the best they knew how about me having blackouts or episodes, but I had to do my own work when it came to healing the trauma I endured. I had to do what it took to get my life back, the life that was given and chosen for me by True Essence, I had to become open and aware of my True Nature. I wanted to come up for air, because I realized that I had so many gifts and talents to share. I noticed and realized that my creativity needed to be developed and expressed to help others. It’s more than what took place with me that I wanted other people to relate to, it’s about the feelings that have been created that weren’t able to be expressed and pain that was created by the wounds that weren’t able to properly healed. That is my mission. That is what I’m writing this blog about.
Most men haven’t been properly exposed to the process of being able to feel into their pain and properly release it. It was never in our nature to do so, because of the old adage, of never being able to let people see you as weak and not strong enough to handle any situations no matter what it is. Yet most of the ways we handle things are met with violence and rage, while that can be way to release it causes even more harm to the body and can led to an early transition from the physical plain. Because men are raised to always be tough, the wounds within are now behind even more unpenetrated layers that could be even more difficult break through to achieve the proper healing to gain Awareness for a better way of living.
The term, “Mental Health Issues” is used to give the unexpected and socially incorrect way of expressing one’s self in public, because people are supposed to only be and look normal. That outburst of hurt make you look, vulnerable, weak, crazy and uncontrollable. But what is normal and why do people have to be or look a certain way to be able to express their freedom of expression. When truly the person with the outburst is the one that is crying from the inside out for help to work through what is them hurting from within. What we as men have gone through is very difficult because society doesn’t want to take the time to allow a man to express his feelings in order to deal with what is truly keeping them from properly excelling in excellence and integrity in life. So, you get men that are extremely talented, in the mainstream media and that are held to a standard that they weren’t prepped for and prepared to be placed on a mantel. What is really hurting and crying out for help is expressing itself as acts that aren’t considered normal, moral and controlled. That’s a cry for help, and not to be looked over and punished as if they knew how to contain themselves as knowing how to act despite the pain, just like my parents did me.
The time is now for men to reach out for help, and to being to allow the pain to be faced and then healed. It’s time for what could be called, “Mental Health Issues” to be addressed on a level that allows one’s self to begin to open their mind with tools and principles, to become more Aware of who they truly are. This goes for both men and women, that don’t know that they have an safe space to create a productive outlet to truly express the pains and hurts from that past that they have been holding on too and to now be able to express it that will lead to healing and being creative to help others in their own way. I am a true advocate of this, that’s why I created a coaching program called, “Feel to Heal.” This program takes people through steps on how to take the pains of their past into healing process. Also, I have a workshop called, “Self -Care is Being Aware.” Where teach people the nature of self-care and how to be aware of anything and everything that arises and meet it head on.
I love what I do, and I have been evolving my platform for many years and now I have foundation that is going to help transform countless people to Transform from Pain to Purpose and Promise. To also let people, know that, “Only You Can Evolve to A Greater You!”
So, when I stated those questions in the beginning of this blog, that is what I thought about myself, because I believed what someone else thought about me more then what my True Self was trying show and express through me. Now I’m more Aware of what is going on, I am now able to say it’s possible and I’m helping people to do the same.
Jason A. Benefield is a Life Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Songwriter and Poet. He is from Buffalo, NY and currently resides in Los Angeles, Ca. He has been inspiring people since 2006. He has a Program called Self-Care is Being Aware and his coaching platform is called, Feel to Heal. Jason is currently working on his first book Peace is Essential to Life: The Journey to Evolving Consciousness. And working on becoming a Spiritual Licensed Practitioner. Jason can be found on many different social media outlets:
Facebook Page – Jason A. Benefield Inspires
Instagram – Jason A Benefield
LinkedIn – Jason A Benefield Inspires
Twitter – @JAB_Motivation